Episode 15 - Motherhood, Caregiving, and Advocacy with Holly Robinson Peete

speaker-0: Welcome to Even If the Special

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: Needs Parenting Podcast. I'm Michaela.

speaker-1: And I'm Raya. Preface this.

speaker-2: With

speaker-1: I like the allergy jumped on me this week. I feel like my voice is cracking so bad.

speaker-0: That I have never heard that expression and it's weird.

speaker-1: The allergy jumped. No, that is like mine and Byron's thing that we've been doing now for a while is like the allergy jumped on because you it's like you are literally fine. You're fine. And then all of a sudden your throat starts tickling and then you you're like you get a headache and you have all this sinus pressure and stuff and you're like the allergy just jumped on me.

speaker-0: It makes me picture the Mucinec commercials where it has the Mucinex sperm

speaker-1: J.

speaker-0: living in your nostrils. I picture that like jumping on you. Yeah. Weird

speaker-1: They look like little monsters.

speaker-0: visual. That's what I picture every time you say.

speaker-1: Okay, well, welcome to my expression that I use to describe that book.

speaker-0: Yeah. It's lovely. I'm probably not gonna use it, but you do you.

speaker-1: My voice keeps cracking, so but it's okay. We can we can go on.

speaker-0: And today we're excited to welcome a very special guest, Holly Robinson Peet. Holly is an American actress, author, and TV host. She is best known for her roles as Judy Hoffs on the Fox Bleach drama 21 Jump Street, Vanessa Russell on the ABC sitcom Hangin' Mr. Cooper, and Dr. Milena Ellis on the NBC The WB Sitcom for Your Love. Holly most recently hosted the Peacock reality dating series Queen's Corp, alongside her husband, Rodney Peat. And now they are co-hosting Bravo's new dating series, King's Court Together. Outside of television, Holly is a passionate advocate for autism awareness and Parkinson's disease. With Rodney, she co-founded the Hollyrod Foundation, which offers support for families caring for a loved one living with a diagnosis. Holly is also an author. Her children's book, My Brother Charlie, won an NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Literary Work. She and Rodney have been married for over 31 years. and have four children together. Welcome, Holly. Thank you so much for joining us.

speaker-2: Thank you for having me. This is fun.

speaker-0: We would really like to start about motherhood because so much of your work that you're doing today has grown out of your family's experiences. So what has motherhood taught you that you never would have anticipated?

speaker-2: well, number one is patience. And it's taught me that humor is so important that we gotta laugh and we to get through the hard times. and just, you know, it taught me resilience. It just taught me resilience and and and I'm still learning. I mean, my kids are grown, but I'm still still learning. So I would say I'd say if I had to point to one of those, mostly I think the theme is patience. 'Cause I'm not a patient person, just in general. So that was a definitely a harder lesson to learn.

speaker-0: Right. And sadly it seems like it's one of those situations where if you're not patient, you're gonna be given things to make you patient.

speaker-2: Yeah, if you're not, you better learn quickly because otherwise it could be a little bit of a journey.

speaker-0: Yeah, for sure.

speaker-1: What do you remember the most about the early days just navigating RJ's autism diagnosis?

speaker-2: about right before the the diagnosis I just everything in my I was a rookie mom okay first timer but I had twins so it was like I was overwhelmed with the twin situation but I was also working so I was working my husband was playing football back east so I had a lot on me and so when I started to notice the the the different ways that he was processing life and how he wasn't playing alongside his or playing with his twin sister. When I saw these things, I my gut was telling me stuff, but I I just didn't have anybody to verify it. the doctor was kind of in denial, the pediatrician, my husband was swimming in the Nile River. And I I just didn't have like I didn't feel like supported. So I went into my own version of denial, which was just whatever it's going through, he's going through, he'll be fine. and so that was before the diagnosis. When we got the diagnosis when he was three, I had been stressing sort of about his behavioral things from the time he was two. So do you know that like he is twenty-nine now and I still get mad about that one year of intervention that I did not. Have the support to find him, to get him in. It's so ridiculous. it's all these years later. But I just tell other moms that are maybe experiencing that to listen to your gut. to don't don't let anybody tell you this child more than any better than anybody. and although my twin daughter would tell you. I don't know him as well as she does 'cause she knew him nine months before I did, but that's a whole nother story. so yeah, so I think th th those early days, I I just it's it's the listen to my gut that I I wish I had done more of at that time.

speaker-1: Had you ever heard of autism before?

speaker-2: yeah, I had heard of it because I grew up with a guy in Philadelphia whose son was on the spectrum. needed a lot of support. And mind you, you know, my kids were di are were a little older, so like it wasn't the levels of support that they have now. It was you know, high high functioning, low functioning, you know, k verbal, nonverbal, those kinds of things. And at the end of the day I think I had my I had my friend whose son was had severe issues where he could not talk and he also couldn't commu he just couldn't communicate at all and it was really tough. That was the only example I had. I didn't understand the spectrum aspect of it. so I really didn't know a lot. Didn't know a lot at all. Yeah.

speaker-1: And you kinda mentioned earlier you really didn't feel like there was a community of people that was there to support you just through everything.

speaker-2: No. I did not have a community. and even though I had this friend that had the son, I still didn't even feel didn't even feel connected to him. You know, I just I just felt alone, completely alone. And, you know, we didn't have all these great social media pages and all these things that we have now. We just there no one was talking about it. The one moment that I felt like wow, like I kind of feel seen was There were two quarterbacks. My husband was a quarterback. So there were two quarterbacks that spoke about their kids, Dan Marino and Doug Flutie. And these two guys spoke about their kids before anybody else I knew talked about autism. And I remember there was a 60 minutes piece on Dan Marino's son. And it just blew my mind how he talked so openly about it. And I'm like, and my husband was in denial at that time, really wasn't like kind of on board. And so I was like, you know, look, he he's a quarterback. Like he he gets it. We need the quarterback for our team. Like not trying to be corny, but like every football cliche, like we need that quarterback. So so those two guys were extremely helpful. That's amazing.

speaker-1: I just I I had seen a real earlier of you and your husband talking about like for me with my daughter, we call her diagnosis day like D Day. And and I saw that y'all call it never day. And I just bawled when I watched that because that is just, I mean, it's so true. And it's just such a hard thing as a parent to just hear that.

speaker-2: It really is and I have tormented this lady. I've never said her name. But I just I felt I feel it's so disrespectful for doctors to steal your hope. you you can y she was trying to manage my expectations. this was, twenty five whatever years ago. She was trying to manage my expectations and I get that. She didn't want me to, well, I don't want you to think that he's ever gonna do these things because he probably won't. But she didn't say he might. She didn't say it wasn't the he might day, it was he never day. It was the never day. You know what I mean? Like all the possibilities were gone. So if I was just like a single mom, okay? And I didn't have like the support that I had. I wasn't an on T V and I didn't have a quarterback husband and access to resources and all the things, I might have just shrunken up, shriveled up and like, Okay, cool, well, I guess he's never gonna be nothing in life, so let me just go over here and just be live in these never's. And I just was frustrated with that so much. And I remember I had a opportunity to do a show called The Proud Family and which is pretty popular show and they asked me to be a therapist who or a doctor or pediatrician who diagnosed the little boy on Proud Family and it was a chance to reimagine what I would have wanted to hear. And it went viral because it was it was me doing it, obviously, but it was an animation, really famous scene because I had a chance to say to a dad who was like, What you talking about? My son is stupid, you saying my boy's dumb, you saying he ain't never gonna be nothing. And I was like, No, Mr. Proud. All I'm saying is he learns differently and he and and you need to surround him with support. All the things I wish I had heard. So I so I loved being able to reimagine what that moment would have been like. Because that is the moment where, you're taking that out into the world. And I wish that she had been a little more more eloquent with that.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: don't think they have a bedside manner class that they take when they're working on their

speaker-2: Her bedside manner was so bad. And it was just I was like, not Dr. Debbie Downer giving me like no hope. and so I talk about her a lot. I know she's seen me. I've gone on the Oprah show. I've never said her name. I've I I've always she knows and all I want from that is not to so much embarrass her, but to maybe help her understand that you cannot go around stealing the possibilities from parents. I don't care how severely your son or daughter is on the spectrum, how much support they need, you just can't do that. So that was my chance to use my platform for for that reason.

speaker-0: that there's so many parents that I know that have had similar experiences and it is definitely a hard road to navigate whenever you're that's drilled into your head by professionals who you feel like you should trust.

speaker-2: g give me some hope. and how about giving me a little welcome to autism pep talk, not not not well, good luck.

speaker-0: Send me an essentials bag.

speaker-1: it's more they're so worried about CYA so much that they they just cannot sometimes as personable as they

speaker-0: Need to be.

speaker-2: I get that. I get that. And that's that was one of the main points that I brought up when I had the kipp kitchen table conversation with my husband about going public with this. Because a lot I we had a lot of friends who we we knew of other people, I shouldn't say we had a lot of friends that had kids on the spectrum that decided they weren't gonna go and talk about it. And Rodney's argument was well, he didn't want to label his son and you know put that, you know narrative on him. And my thing was no, we have a chance to give people some hope. We have a chance to tell people that it's gonna be okay or build that team around your kid or, pay attention to your other siblings in this way or that way. we were learning as we went, but we wanted to be part of the solution. And that and that Neverday diagnosis was the moment or the main thing that got me over the top in my argument. and so I I think that it for that reason it was really worth it.

speaker-0: So he is now you said twenty nine, correct? Mm-hmm. So you've kind of navigated that, you know, childhood into the adult aspect. what do you wish more people understood about autism families, especially as their children become adults? Because it's inevitable, you know, children become adults.

speaker-2: Yeah, they do. And I I I wish people would understand that they can work, they can be part of society, they can, have purpose. And you know, even one even children that are nonverbal, they have ways to communicate and they can be functional and they can work. And so I think that's the number one thing with RJ is that because he's working and he works so hard. And his job gives him everything, dignity and purpose, and he was never supposed to have a job like this. I think that is a really strong testimony for for how our kids can thrive in this world. you know, I I always say I would never change RG for the world 'cause he's such a unique guy, such a great kid, in so many ways and so lovable. But I would try to change the world for him because the world is the world is what I worry about. Like I I I It's putting my kid out there. And how are they gonna respond to him? Are they gonna bully him? Are they gonna make him feel a certain way about himself? Is he gonna run up against a cop who thinks he's a threat? Like all the things. So like th that's the part that we have to get out there. We have to re grab the narrative and and and get the world to love on our kids.

speaker-0: Definitely. So do you think society as a whole is doing enough to support adults with autism and their families, or do you still feel like there's big gaps in that area?

speaker-2: I still think we have gaps. I still think we have gaps, and I think we have to fill them in. for somebody who's been doing this as long as I have, like advocating, I see so much hope and change and so much more awareness out there and acceptance out there. and just more access, more resources, and you know, you got love on the spectrum. I'd never be a show like love on the spectrum. Ever, ever, ever would come, I couldn't even imagine and I'm in show business. I could never imagine even pitching it. But we did, even before Love on the Spectrum, we did a reality show called For Pete's Sake and Meet the Pete's. And those shows on Own and the Hallmark Channel were really centered around RJ and about how this family gathers around him and rallies around him. And even stuff like him going to get his driver's license and he got he was able to do the oral tests. We didn't know. That there was an oral test that he could do. He could not pass a written test. He does not test well like that. And it was someone that came to me and I said, we're putting that on the show. So we followed him through the DMV and and his what he failed and how sad and frustrated he was. And then when he that moment where he where he passed the oral test and the and the driver's test was like was amazing. And the other families were writing in tests like, my God, we didn't even know that there was an option to do this. And so yeah, you know what I mean? that's something that so those are the things that I wanted to put forward and put out there because when you do that, you help other families be seen and you get an option, you know, to do something in a different way. And I wouldn't have known, a lot of people wouldn't have known about that if it weren't for that episode. So still trying to continue to change the narrative on what our kids can do and who's out there to help them.

speaker-0: I obviously missed that episode because my eighteen year old is on the spectrum and I was terrified of him passing the written test for that reason. He probably he did pass it, thank goodness, but he probably would have been more comfortable doing it orally, but it was not even presented to us as an option.

speaker-2: No, and it's not because there the world is not always trying to make to make our kids succeed. So it's up to us to get out there and spread the word and and and by the way, that's that's where I got most of my support were from other parents. Mom moms like you guys, when we sit around and we talk about stuff and we you we talk about the good, the bad and the ugly. And even though our kids could be totally different children and respond to totally different things in different ways. We still we you we still pick up little nuggets from each other and those were the things that kept me going. Even from Dan Romarino and Doug Flutie. Like hearing the little things that I heard from that 60-minute interview gave me, who I might try that for RJ, or or that might be something that I'll look forward to, or maybe my son will feel that way one day. So that's why it's been very important for us to kind of wave this A flag out here and for what it's worth.

speaker-0: So something else that makes your family story meaningful is that autism isn't the only experience that has obviously shaped your perspective. Parkinson's has also been a significant part of your life. so your family's journey with Parkinson's, how did that experience shape you in addition to also having a son with autism?

speaker-2: Well, my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease when he was just forty-six. That's young onset Parkinson's. And and then all these years later, my brother is now diagnosed. He's got Parkinson's. He got it when he was fifty. And fifty maybe fifty-five, fifty-five-ish, he was diagnosed. So yeah, like it changed me completely. I became my dad's caregiver. I was only nineteen when he was diagnosed. I was starting college. I was gonna quit college to go care give for him. he was like, Absolutely not, because my dad was all about me getting that paper. He wanted that he wanted that diploma. He was like, no, no, no, no, no. So but but what I learned early was about caregiving and taking care of him. And later on when he was more, you know, he had declined more, I had RJ, so I was in that sandwich generation, right, where you're taking care of your dad or your mom and your son. So that was really a difficult time, but I learned so much. And I learned, you know, just, you know, how that that I had to pour back into me, that you can't let yourself, you know, you can't pour from an empty cup. That was a big lesson. but the Parkinson's piece really led me to wanting to advocate for autism families because much like autism, Parkinson's is a expensive. All these different occupationals and speeches and PTs and all the things you go through are not always covered by insurance and it's hard to get them covered and then you always need more than they say you need. if you got an IEP and they say you need six hours your son or daughter really needs 12 hours a week. So you supplement there's just so many things. And I saw that with Parkinson's. If you don't have the meds, the the the dopamine imitators, cinnamet, some of these meds I learned early on that if you don't have those, you can't get up and work or unfold your body and just like work in life or make a living. So I just found a lot of similarities between those two things. So that's why, you know, as a foundation we still support families impacted by both.

speaker-1: Do you think caregivers sometimes get overlooked because there's so much attention on the the person that needs the support?

speaker-2: yeah. Like caregiver burnout is so real. It's so real and it's one of the things that we're kind of talking about. But you know, as a caregiver, you're so focused on that person who has, you know, that you're caring for that you neglect neglect yourself. I but you know, we we do a lot of caregiver support and I'll talk to caregivers that are I'm like, you know, or like I'll I'll talk to somebody and they'll be grab their mouth. I'm like, Are you okay? I'm like, yeah, I might have a toothache. Well, when's the last time you went to the dentist? Yeah. She was three years ago. I was like, ma'am, you cannot take care of your daddy with, holes in your mouth. You have got to. She was like, I know, but I don't I feel guilty if I leave him and something happens. And so we do a lot of respite care. So we'll we'll find people to to to take, care of other people's parents or whatever who and kids. So that they can go to the doctor, so that they can get a day off. And these are really important things. They don't sound like a big deal, but they're very important things because otherwise caregivers are going to get burnt out and then nobody wins.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: We recently did an episode about specifically caregiver burnout and we had several people message us separately and they said that they were listening to the show. They're not special needs parents, but that they are caregivers for elderly parents. And there were so many things that we talked about that they said resonated because the crossover is is there. Like it's it's it's a lot caregiving,

speaker-1: Similar.

speaker-0: yeah, regardless of if it's a parent or if it's a child.

speaker-2: yeah, it is. It's very similar. And I'll go and do a lot of, public speaking and talk to rooms and so many people in the rooms are doing both. You know, taking care of a child or a special needs child and and an adult that needs help, a a parent or a grandparent that needs needs support and they're doing both. And it that is really exhausting. So it's very, very important that somehow, some way you find time to fill your tank and go do the things that you need to do.

speaker-0: So one of the reasons that we started even if was to help parents feel less alone in experiences that can sometimes be isolating. Yeah. So it's encouraging to see organizations working to create the same sense of community and support at a larger scale. So we feel like the Hollyrod Foundation is obviously a way that's helping bring people together and make that possible. And so what we've seen is that you have your annual design care Gala. Is we we actually had a debate on how to say gala. Gala. Gala.

speaker-2: Okay, well, how about this? I just did a Hallmark, I just did a Hallmark movie. And I just finished it. It's gonna be on December 18th called Hearts All A Glow. It's kind of about the Nat King Cole legacy meets Hallmark channel. And the character I play is putting on a gala, which I say gala. The script the script supervisor ran up to me and said, It's Gala. And I was like, we're in Canada right now, so do y'all say Gala up here? Like I say gala and I've been saying gala. So that was the hardest part about doing this job is I kept having to say gala 'cause I don't usually say gala. So either one is fine. I've been saying gala for my own gala, but for the Hallmark channel, I guess it's gala.

speaker-1: Gala.

speaker-0: So funny.

speaker-1: I've always called it a gala, always. And I watched one of her videos and I was like, She said gala, so that's what we're saying.

speaker-2: I say gala, but yeah. But I'm gonna it's gala gala, we're just gonna do both. Yeah.

speaker-0: So tell us about this year's gala and what makes it so special.

speaker-2: Okay, so every year we do, this is our biggest fundraiser. It is a fashion show, concert. We have really good comfort food, soul food, and we do lots of activations there, and we give out these amazing honors, right? And this year we're so excited, we're honoring Samuel L. Jackson, the hilarious and amazing actor, and his wife, Latanya. They were the founding donors to Holly Rod Foundation. So when we first got the idea to do it, nineteen ninety eight or ninety-nine, we went to them and two other couples and they seated us. So it was if there would be no Holly Rod without them. And all these years later they're still supporting us. So I've been trying to honor them for almost 30 years. and it's just he's always making a movie and she's doing plays and it's just hard to lock them down. So this is our first year s honoring them, but we could have honored them. We could have honored them every year. We're honoring Tanner Smith who's from Love on the Spectrum and we love our Tanner 'cause he's just brings joy to every space he walks in. We're honoring another an athlete named Teoscar Hernandez. He's a Los Angeles Dodger. My my son works for him. And he is has a son on the spectrum and he's been so inspired by RJ, who is you know a young adult working in his clubhouse and his son has autism and he feels so empowered by seeing RJ that R. G. is an inspiration for his son. And he wears a lot of autism, paraphernalia on the mound. He's spreading the awareness and acceptance in a way that is so beautiful. So we're honoring him. And we're honoring a for the Parkinson side, we're honoring a a a former athlete named Amon Green. He was a running back for the Green Bay Packers. And he has Parkinson's. And what I love is that so many of these players are are not. Scared to talk about their Parkinson's disease. Now, my husband's been retired for 21 years, and nobody back then talked about different diseases and things that they were afflicted with, whether it was ALS, Parkinson's, MS, you name it. And so to see these players come out and like advocate for others, it's so huge. And you know, you we've got several players that are doing that now. So when Amon came out and started talking about his Parkinson's and wanting to be a lighthouse for other people, I was like, my gosh. So we got him. And and then one of my favorite honorees, you guys, because when I was growing up in Philadelphia, my favorite show in the world was The Brady Bunch. And I watched me some Brady Bunch. I could tell you every single episode backwards and forwards. And when I came out to California years later, became friends with Maureen McCormick, aka Marcia Brady. That's awesome. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. And that's great. Marsha and she has a older brother who's special needs. His name is Denny. And she is not just a television icon, but she's also advocates for adults with special needs. And so we are awarding her. And she was like, Why? Why? I was like, Why? What are you talking about? You're so humble. So we have some great honorees. We're so excited. And it's gonna be a really fun night. And we're hoping to exceed our fundraising so that we can help support job programs so we can create more RJs that can have these great jobs and caregiver support groups like we were talking about earlier. And it's just it's been a really awesome road, awesome road fundraising for for both Parkinson's and autism.

speaker-1: I love hearing just about all the different people that are, you know, have a such a platform and they're using it to just for awareness in all all those ways. It's amazing.

speaker-2: It's the best. It it is the best.

speaker-0: What does it mean to you personally to see people from so many different backgrounds come together to support this specific mission that y'all have created?

speaker-2: is the best feeling and and I finally got it right. I'm that Virgo woman who has to do everything herself. it's I it's a it's such a it's such a a torture I'm such a tortured woman because if I ask my husband do something and he doesn't do it within five seconds, I'm gonna do it myself. So that's who I am. So I'm very hands-on with this event. and last year we tried something different for the honorees. Instead of just bringing everybody up We play their video, they make a speech, they sit back down. We decided to bring everybody up in a fireside chat format so that everyone's sitting there on the stage and we ask and we ask questions and then we interact. And that we found it to be so great. Seeing all these people on a stage together, sharing their stories in that format was really powerful. It was the number one thing people said last year that they loved to have that kind of format. So They are we're doing that again this year and I can't wait to see them all on that stage, sharing their stories, sharing their platforms, one giant platform together. So it's very powerful seeing everyone come together.

speaker-1: For people that just you know aren't able to attend, but they want to support what you're doing, how can they get involved?

speaker-2: You can go to Hollyrod.org and you can donate if that's something that works for you. This is a funky economy right now, so a lot of people are struggling to, just t put food on the table. So at the end of the day, I always tell people that you don't always have to make a donation, but you can find a family in your community and ask them what they might need. Like ask them if they need some recipe. Ask them do you want them to w do Watch their kid while you take their other while they take their other kid somewhere. you need some groceries, like whatever. Like it doesn't have to write, you don't have to write a big old check. You can just go specifically and make sure you ask. Don't ever assume you know what someone needs. ask them what would be good. It could be a spa gift certificate. Like you just can't believe the ways that little things make a difference in someone's life. but it it it does require that you ask them what. is at the top of their list. Because sometimes and I learn this the hard way, I think I know what a family needs, but I don't really know until you ask them.

speaker-1: thing is yeah is that they're not gonna ask themselves. They're not gonna ask for help.

speaker-0: No

speaker-2: No. You ask sometimes you gotta ask six, seven times, by the way, because they'll say, nothing, I'm good. I'm don't worry about it. I'm fine. I got everything I need. No, no, no, no, no. And then or you just start asking like things about what they're doing. Or what what do you wish you could do right now? Like just sometimes you gotta trick them because again, we're in that mode of we can do it all and you know, and we don't wanna put anybody out and we don't want anybody to feel sorry for us or any of that. So at that so I think you have to s be a little slick the way you approach families that are yeah are are working to, you know, make things better for other people.

speaker-1: And it's like, why are we so hard-headed? I can be carrying my kid, have a wheelchair in one arm, and and do you need some help? No, no, no, I'm fine.

speaker-0: The default mode is to not want to be a burden.

speaker-2: It is true, but you just we can't help it. And that's what makes us amazing people too, right? At the same time. But like I'll always like I'll be carrying. I'm so used to car with four kids, I'm so used to carrying stuff, bags. They I'm a bag lady. Going to soccer, I got the thing, I got the bag of balls, I got the thing of you know, I can carry all. And people are like, Let me take that. No, because now you're just gonna take something off and I'm gonna fall over. So but but I think what we need what we must do is not be afraid. To ask for help and that whole trope of being that strong woman that can handle every damn thing. Like we have to atlas. He's like, listen, lady, are you done? 'Cause I got some food. Are you hungry? Are you hungry? You want a treat?

speaker-0: So big.

speaker-2: You want a treat? He's like, Really? You're messing with me right now? Don't say my my words. Yeah. say the T word. Yeah, see the T word or the E A T word. Yeah, we we gotta we we gotta hang that up. That whole trope of we don't need help, we can do it all on our own, that gets us in trouble. So it's very important for us to not be so strong all the time and to vocalize when we need help.

speaker-1: And the tickets, they're still available and open, right? For the gallery?

speaker-2: They are still available, they're still open, there's still some sponsorships available, but they're going fast. They're probably by in maybe two two, three days or so, they'll be gone. But like I said, if you there are people in your community that you can do this for, find small nonprofits in your community and support them as well.

speaker-0: Yeah, for sure. I think I just fell in love with you.

speaker-2: thank you guys. Listen, you because you know, we we we speak the we speak the same language and it's yeah it's it's hard to sometimes let yourself be vulnerable, but at the end of the day we have to do that.

speaker-0: Mind. So before we let you go, we'd love to end with one final thought for the parents and caregivers that are listening. when you think about everything that your family has experienced, what would you want to say to a parent who's like right now in the middle of their own journey and struggling to imagine what the future with their kids might look like?

speaker-2: Say build a team around your child. day one, as soon as you get that diagnosis, start building that team. Team RJ has brought me so much joy and happiness and love and resources. And it doesn't have to be family. If you have family that doesn't get autism or don't understand, I had family members that thought I could just physically, you know, spank it out of him. So we we we all know those people. So family, they mean well, but they don't always know. So it might be someone at church or at school or you know, at at a nonprofit. Like just keep building those layers of people that get who your son or daughter is, understands who they are, so that there's sort of a a team, a little with a little bit of a wall of security built around them. That's like the number one thing I say. And it's hard because not everybody is gonna get it. Yeah. So y you'll know you know right away who does and who doesn't. And Yeah.

speaker-0: Your people are true.

speaker-2: You know your tribe is and and and you and you need to keep recruiting people and it can't ever be too big.

speaker-0: Welly, thank you so much for joining us and sharing your experience with us. And we appreciate not only your work through the Hollyrod Foundation, but your willingness to talk openly about your experiences as a mom, because at the end of the day I feel like that's all we are. We're all, you know, just moms at the end of the day.

speaker-2: For just moms trying to trying to make it through and just pushing through. And we and we have each other. And that's why I love even if I love your platform because it's a good opportunity for, you know, moms to just feel seen and heard and to be able to talk through things with no judgment, because Lord knows there's enough of that. And and the ability to just share and feel like you have a community. And that's so important. Thank you guys. It was great talking to you. Yeah,

speaker-1: Very nice to meet you.

speaker-2: same here. Good luck.

speaker-1: For everyone listening, we'll include information about the Hollyrod Foundation and the Design Care Gala in our episode description and on our social media pages so you can learn more and find ways to get involved. Even if we can't do everything, we can all do something that makes a difference in someone else's life. We'll see you next time.